Books I Don't Like

For years I tried to plod through books I really didn't like, just because (A) I'd started them, (B) sometimes I'd actually paid for them, & (C) I wanted to give the writer a chance to grow on me. Meanwhile, for every one I forced myself to read--which always took inordinately long--there were books I might have loved, which were dropping off my life list of possibilities. There just isn't enough time here on earth to read them all--there isn't. And maybe some of those I despised are "great" books, "must-read" books, but I've learned the most I owe 'em is a try. After that, I just stop and release them into the universe, pass them on to someone who might actually like them and/or learn something from them. Then, I pick up something that will actually engage me.

For a week or so, though, I've been chipping away at a pretty bad book (no, I won't tell you what it is or who wrote it--as a writer, I don't like to trash another writer's hard work, even if I personally think it's dreadful). The things I hate about this book are legion:

1. clunky phrasing
2. misspellings/grammatical lapses
3. heaving bosom-style love scenes that are about as sexy as wax paper--and this isn't a romance novel!
4. stupid, stupid, stupid blind spots in the way the protagonist fails to pick up whatsoever on what should be obvious concerns to any person of low-average intelligence
5. a cutesy tendency to name some--but not all--characters "meaningfully", such as a dentist named Bob White-Molar or a stripper named Boobs Shaker, and again, the protagonist doesn't seem even to notice or mentally react
6. overwritten description
7. overly elaborate dialog tags
8. I could go on, but please stop me!

So why am I still reading? The same reason I first picked up this awful book in the half-price store--I loved the old-Florida, abandoned sugar plantation setting, and I still do. In fact, I want to be there...preferably not reading this book.... And the bottom line is still that this author has gotten books published--repeatedly. I need a stiff espresso.