The Brits Are Right!

I think we should be allowed--within civilized reason, of course--to choose how to spell and punctuate. Okay, as I sit back and look at that, I realize I don't think just anyone should have this privilege. Maybe there should be a test? And maybe a license?

Here's the thing--correct spelling and punctuation are there for a good reason: to help us communicate clearly. If one actually pretty much knows the rules, the occasional variance can be accommodated without throwing one's gentle reader for a loop. With that caveat, variances often can make a lot of sense, in context.

Examples:

1. I am a fan of the British quotation mark inside the period/question mark/exclamation point, in those cases where the entire sentence is not being quoted. Stubbornly, I fight, fight, fight to follow those sensible Brits, despite being repeatedly jerked up by my choke collar.

2. "Backseat" as a noun makes absolutely no sense, even if it is "correct". Let's refuse to sign on! All together now: "back seat". The same goes for "backyard" (shudder), unless used as a colorful adjective, e.g., "backyard dawg".

3. The late, much-beloved and revered Madeleine L'Engle once wrangled with a publisher for using both "gray" and "grey" in the same novel, depending on the noun being adjectivized, because of the significant difference in the way the spelling conveyed a certain feeling. The editor wouldn't listen to reason. To the barricades!

4. "I ran into James on the way to lit." OK--I know only academic classes labeled as proper nouns should be capitalized (e.g., English 101). But really, doesn't one stutter a bit when encountering "lit" as a noun? There is a momentary mental processing required here that might easily be minimized by the following, however "incorrect": "I ran into James on the way to Lit."

And that's enough about that.